I have yet to figure out why I share these less than admirable moments with all of you, but here goes another one cause I laughed really hard on the inside.
Today I looked around my house and saw the piles of laundry, the limited clean dishes, the toys and food on the floor and the bills piled high. I saw it and then decided to take my kids to the park. (I told you I have a hard time coming back to normal life after a long vacation. I wasn't kidding.)
On our way out the door we packed up a lunch and headed out. We were meeting friends at 10am and it was 955am. The park is 20 minutes away. Big was riding his bike and middle wanted to ride his scooter. He got it out the door and hopped on. I told him we needed to head to the car and this is where chaos started.
Since the day middle was born he has had an ear piercing scream. Only one scream for all things. It's a life and death cry. It's loud and it's annoying. And it hasn't changed.
At the instant of saying he couldn't ride his scooter, I heard the cry. I was walking to the garage with big to put his bike away and the cry followed us.
Mistake #1 - I didn't really care about middle's feelings, I was distracted by how frustrated I was that early in the morning by the crying. So I started to approach my son, not with grace and help, but from a place of selfishness and frustration.
We entered the garage and he was crying about not getting a chance to ride his scooter and he wanted to bring it with us. I told him he couldn't because we were going to the playground to be with his friends. He kept crying saying he wanted to bring it with him and that he didn't get a chance to ride it that morning.
I told him once more he couldn't bring it and we had to get in the car. He said he wasn't moving. He wasn't going.
Mistake #2 - Middle was in the garage and I was outside the garage holding little. I told him nicely we were leaving now and started to close the garage. I was holding three bags and a baby and my middle kid was not cooperating. I needed to him to hurry, I didn't want to discuss this with him and help him understand. I just wanted him to obey me. So in an effort to get my way, I scared my child to think that I would lock him in the garage. I am not proud. I am actually very sad that this was my response. However, he came right out.
The kids and I make it to our car parked on the street and everyone is getting in except middle. I have little buckled in, all the bags in and big is in. I hop in the driver seat and middle is looking at me from outside the car on the curb crying to me that he wants his scooter. He looks at me and shows me that his scooter can fit under his feet and Noah's bike could fit in the back if I would just move the stuff around.
(That's kind of the point middle, I don't want to take the time and be even later and move all the stuff around so you can throw a temper tantrum and get your way.)
I nicely told him no and it was time to get in the car because we were all ready. He looked at me and said with all defiance,
"I will come with you. I will stay right here." and he shut the door.
Mistake #3 - (I can't believe I am admitting this.) I drove two feet in the car away from my son. I couldn't believe I did it when I did, and the look on his face made my heart ache. He truly thought I would leave him, but that is what I was communicating to him. I stopped the car almost immediately and he opened the door. He was crying and he said one more time, all I want is to bring my scooter. Please mom, can we bring my scooter?
I told him to get in the car. I realized at the moment that it didn't matter if we were late that is a park, and the other kids would be playing till we got there. I wasn't sure why I didn't the bike and scooter. There was no real reason. So I went to the alley and we got the scooter.
Before I got out of the car, I looked at my middle child and said, "You know mom doesn't support whining, and if you throw a temper tantrum you never get what you want. But I should have listened, and there is no reason not to bring your bike, so you can bring it. Next time instead of crying and screaming, please just talk to mom."
I was very cool about it. I never yelled or lost my temper. I was just calm.
Once we were all loaded in and we started to drive away, my middle child said,
"Mom, I'm gonna pray for you."
Big said, "Caleb can you say it quietly so I can hear too and pray for mom?"
My thought was, Are you kidding me? We're praying for me and its you two who can't handle the temper tantrums!
So middle prayed. This is was his prayer to God almighty who hears all we say.
"Dear God please help mommy and her temper tantrums. Take her temper away from her. Amen."
Big, "Amen. Good prayer Caleb."
Wow, sold out by own kid. Well, two can play at that game. I said.
"Caleb can I pray for you?" (oh yeah, you know where this is going.)
Me, "Dear God I thank you for my children and this day we will have together. Lord I ask that when Caleb and I disagree that you would help us communicate better and that when he is angry with me, he would use his words and talk to me instead of screaming. Lord help him to surrender his temper to you. Amen."
Mistake #4 - using prayer as a weapon to teach my kid a lesson.
I thought, that will teach him. I believe scripture says, before looking at the speck in someones eye, take the logo out of your own eye.
Did you hear me middle? That's right, scripture says to work on yourself first.
Oh, wait.
Today I looked around my house and saw the piles of laundry, the limited clean dishes, the toys and food on the floor and the bills piled high. I saw it and then decided to take my kids to the park. (I told you I have a hard time coming back to normal life after a long vacation. I wasn't kidding.)
On our way out the door we packed up a lunch and headed out. We were meeting friends at 10am and it was 955am. The park is 20 minutes away. Big was riding his bike and middle wanted to ride his scooter. He got it out the door and hopped on. I told him we needed to head to the car and this is where chaos started.
Since the day middle was born he has had an ear piercing scream. Only one scream for all things. It's a life and death cry. It's loud and it's annoying. And it hasn't changed.
At the instant of saying he couldn't ride his scooter, I heard the cry. I was walking to the garage with big to put his bike away and the cry followed us.
Mistake #1 - I didn't really care about middle's feelings, I was distracted by how frustrated I was that early in the morning by the crying. So I started to approach my son, not with grace and help, but from a place of selfishness and frustration.
We entered the garage and he was crying about not getting a chance to ride his scooter and he wanted to bring it with us. I told him he couldn't because we were going to the playground to be with his friends. He kept crying saying he wanted to bring it with him and that he didn't get a chance to ride it that morning.
I told him once more he couldn't bring it and we had to get in the car. He said he wasn't moving. He wasn't going.
Mistake #2 - Middle was in the garage and I was outside the garage holding little. I told him nicely we were leaving now and started to close the garage. I was holding three bags and a baby and my middle kid was not cooperating. I needed to him to hurry, I didn't want to discuss this with him and help him understand. I just wanted him to obey me. So in an effort to get my way, I scared my child to think that I would lock him in the garage. I am not proud. I am actually very sad that this was my response. However, he came right out.
The kids and I make it to our car parked on the street and everyone is getting in except middle. I have little buckled in, all the bags in and big is in. I hop in the driver seat and middle is looking at me from outside the car on the curb crying to me that he wants his scooter. He looks at me and shows me that his scooter can fit under his feet and Noah's bike could fit in the back if I would just move the stuff around.
(That's kind of the point middle, I don't want to take the time and be even later and move all the stuff around so you can throw a temper tantrum and get your way.)
I nicely told him no and it was time to get in the car because we were all ready. He looked at me and said with all defiance,
"I will come with you. I will stay right here." and he shut the door.
Mistake #3 - (I can't believe I am admitting this.) I drove two feet in the car away from my son. I couldn't believe I did it when I did, and the look on his face made my heart ache. He truly thought I would leave him, but that is what I was communicating to him. I stopped the car almost immediately and he opened the door. He was crying and he said one more time, all I want is to bring my scooter. Please mom, can we bring my scooter?
I told him to get in the car. I realized at the moment that it didn't matter if we were late that is a park, and the other kids would be playing till we got there. I wasn't sure why I didn't the bike and scooter. There was no real reason. So I went to the alley and we got the scooter.
Before I got out of the car, I looked at my middle child and said, "You know mom doesn't support whining, and if you throw a temper tantrum you never get what you want. But I should have listened, and there is no reason not to bring your bike, so you can bring it. Next time instead of crying and screaming, please just talk to mom."
I was very cool about it. I never yelled or lost my temper. I was just calm.
Once we were all loaded in and we started to drive away, my middle child said,
"Mom, I'm gonna pray for you."
Big said, "Caleb can you say it quietly so I can hear too and pray for mom?"
My thought was, Are you kidding me? We're praying for me and its you two who can't handle the temper tantrums!
So middle prayed. This is was his prayer to God almighty who hears all we say.
"Dear God please help mommy and her temper tantrums. Take her temper away from her. Amen."
Big, "Amen. Good prayer Caleb."
Wow, sold out by own kid. Well, two can play at that game. I said.
"Caleb can I pray for you?" (oh yeah, you know where this is going.)
Me, "Dear God I thank you for my children and this day we will have together. Lord I ask that when Caleb and I disagree that you would help us communicate better and that when he is angry with me, he would use his words and talk to me instead of screaming. Lord help him to surrender his temper to you. Amen."
Mistake #4 - using prayer as a weapon to teach my kid a lesson.
I thought, that will teach him. I believe scripture says, before looking at the speck in someones eye, take the logo out of your own eye.
Did you hear me middle? That's right, scripture says to work on yourself first.
Oh, wait.