We create our own busy

A few years ago, I was very conscious of people, myself included, always replying to the question, "How are you?" with "Good, but busy."

It was incredible how often that was the response. Busy, busy, busy, busy. We are just so much busier than we used to be. Everyone has so many activities, we are just so busy.

I really hate it. I don't like that phrase, but mostly I don't like how I started to blame busy as if it came into my house and stole time from me. I started treating it like it controlled me and not the other way around.

I didn't like that I was so busy. I didn't like that spur of the moment BBQ with friends could happen the day the idea popped into someones mind. We just had to schedule a BBQ with my husband's band three months out because we were all so busy!

Busy is stealing our lives. Even good busy. Good programs, church programs, school programs, community programs, self serving programs, serving programs, you name it and we just bombarded with options in how to spend our time, except we are a culture that doesn't know how to say no.

My family is no exception. We are busy, except our busy is traveling. We leave a lot. But when me and the kids are home, I try so hard to not be busy. Not that there aren't days where crazy busy happens.

A couple years ago my husband called me out on the fact that I was running our kids out every day to stuff and we weren't creating a space where they could just be. Learn to be bored, learn to think for themselves, create their own games, etc. He knew it was because I had more issues that I didn't want to deal with, and staying busy allowed me to not face my demons. But he was right. And since then, though we fail quite a bit, when we are home, we stay home. We hang out here, create here, fight here, do life here. They are learning chores, and how to manage relationships with each other.

We really like not being so busy anymore. I still need to call my mom and ask her if I should do certain events or what not, and she is my voice of reason, reminding me to slow down.

Until this week, and my old life of crazy busy was here.

This week starting on Sunday, we had our church welcome days, a trip up to a friends cabin, middle started school three times a week this week, I volunteered at big's school one morning, or tried to, we hosted two get together's, I worked one night, had a friend's goodbye dinner, and band practice, and we had a friend's wedding rehearsal and wedding. However amongst all of this is our new life calling of eating almost all raw and nutritional food. So I have to prepare the food we will eat at the wedding, because we can't eat there, make homemade ketchup, cookies, muffins for lunch, eggs and oatmeal every morning for breakfast, and your normal grocery shopping, bank run, laundry, clean the house work. And what's great, is this was the week they started work on our house.

I write that and it feels gross to me. To have commitments every night of the week and some nights, my husband had commitments when I did.

I don't like doing life this way. My life is then consumed with check lists, preparation, clean up, driving, and all of our conversations in the house are how to prepare and get ready for the next thing.

This is not me complaining, because I did this to myself. I didn't get my Bible Study written, so I NEEDED to do it before the deadline. I hosted two parties in a week where we had a wedding. I didn't put anything on my calendar and then said yes to everything.

Everything this week are good things. And some you have to do, but most of it, I could have planned better to say, we only want one commitment a week. We have little kids and we want play time. Down time. Life time.

Some people like being busy. That is fine, because that is how they thrive.

I like living at a slower pace. I have time to pay attention to life, and to my children, and my husband and to my other relationships. Cause this week, I haven't had any time to do the things I love. Bible study, calling friends, bike riding, getting down on the floor and playing with my kids.

When you are busy, your life becomes consumed with getting prepared for the next thing instead of enjoying the moment you are in.

Here's to making better choices and living in the moment you've been given.

I want to choose better next time.