I was in Haiti on Monday morning talking with my friend and her fiance. By evening I was sleeping in my own bed next to my husband. I had waited two long years to go. There was an earthquake, Cholera, shootings and robberies since I had been there. There was a lot that happened in that country since I'd been last. It was different.

Then there was me. I am in the U.S. wondering what my role is. How can I help. What is my next step. What can I do. I felt lost in my relationship with Haiti and I wanted to go to sort some things out.

I leave in one day for a youth event in Indiana. My husband will be gone to camp for the weekend with his band. My daughter will come with me and my boys will be split up between two different families. There is a lot to prepare. This week my very first CD project was completed. My website is going to launch this weekend, and I got an order of 200 T-shirts that I need to prepare for my event. There is much to do.

I have three days in between my trip to Haiti and a speaking weekend. There has hardly been time to process what happened, there is too much to do in life to sit and reflect. I hope I can find those answers soon. I am experiencing a bit of the surreal. These lives are so different, and I exsist in both. In each place I carry the other with me.

What I do know is this:
* I'm OK now without the answers. I know they will come.
* I need to learn more Creole. Knowing the language is a key to success. It is the doorway to the relationships I am longing for in Haiti. It will show me, I am certain how to help.
* There is still much joy in that country.
* For all the money that was promised that hasn't been seen, many people are on the ground working for a better Haiti. A healing Haiti. Those people are your local missionaries, and non of the big wigs.
* Tent cities will be around forever. I'm not sure how any of those who live there will ever get out. Let's make it possible for their children to live in real homes.
* Much, much, much work is needed. There is much to be done. Let us not give up the fight.